I realized something. I realize that I go looking for a broken heart. It’s what I’m comfortable with because it’s what I’m familiar with. I’ve always given comfort to others with a broken heart. I’ve experienced the pain myself through their experiences. I was always so willing to take on their feelings for them, my own heart breaking with the want to take the pain away. I never sheltered my own heart from their suffering and the weight I was actually taking on as an Empath(empathguide). This, unfortunately, has come back on me. I just kept absorbing others suffering without ever clearing it from my own energy, and it just kept pilling up and pilling up, until eventually it became my own. It evolved into a search for my own broken heart, in which every love situation I enter into somehow turns into a tragedy…only…it never was. It became tragic as a result of my own perceptions and insecurities—my anxiety. I was looking for the love to heal it from an outside source like I, myself, had been for others. It was a dead-end search, but not fruitless. Most recently, it sent me on a search for myself ultimately. What I realize is that I have to be whole in and of myself. There is no outside source, it’s all in here, in me. Although I am still working on the issue, it has come to my attention at least and I’m lending a mind to it. I believe it happened when it did (is happening now) because it’s what I needed to focus me back on my spiritual path. I’ve learned so many more things about myself that I wouldn’t give up knowing in exchange for not going through recent experiences. It needed to hurt so bad in order to make me see these things. As I always say, I’m constantly evolving each day. The next day will always bring me deeper and my understanding of the Universe is constantly expanding. 
 “Om Namah Shivaya, meaning, 

I honor the divinity that resides within me.”